Friday, April 4, 2014

Beauty From Ashes

In January I was asked if I would be willing to lead an online Bible Study for 8 weeks. Hope Groups is a group of women who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss. I embarked on this journey on March 17th, and I am not sure I can fully put in to words what a wonderful and healing experience this has been for me. Tears are filling my eyes as I type this and think of the six strong and courageous women that I'm leading this Spring. Their pain and loss is still very fresh, but their honesty and desire to find hope and absolute joy in our Heavenly Father is inspiring.
This invitation came at the perfect time for me. This move was very hard on my heart, because it felt like I was grieving and mourning Landry all over again. It was difficult for me to leave the City and home that held all of my memories of him. I moved from the comforts of everyone knowing my story to a place where no one knew me and my true story, and why I am the person I am today from the beautiful mark that is etched on my heart from unthinkable loss and heartache. I have since been able to share my true story with a few women, and it has been so refreshing. I have made some uncomfortable, which I never want to do, but my story is not a comfortable one. However, it is one that I am proud of. I think of my story and life as a Beautiful Mess.
Seriously, it has taken me six months to truly embrace and welcome this move and the time that it is allowing me to try and explore other passions that I have. In Temple I was so committed to Junior League, which I still love and miss. However, it has been a little refreshing to share my heart and love in a new light and fully be there for my family and soak up every minute we share together.
This past month my heart and soul have begun to grasp  and comprehend why God called Landry Home after only 43 hours in my arms. It has taken 3 1/2 years to finally feel a true sense of peace and embrace my story and all that it has brought to my life. I am clinging to all that God is and the work that he is slowly etching on this journey we have been on for the past six months.
  I truly believe at this moment God is using Landry and even Justin's life for me  to be a pillar of strength and provide encouragement to those walking the hard road of loss. My heart is full! God is GOOD.
I am beyond grateful for Hope Mommies and for this amazing and humbling opportunity. I am truly pouring my heart and soul in to my group and every day excites me as we dive in to Scripture and unfold the true beauty of God.  Psalm 119:68- You are good and do good; teach me your statues.

****This post also explains my Blogging Hiatus, but my time management is still a work in progress.

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