Marked

Hope Mommies 2013

Precious, MaryBeth. Her sweet Reese went to Heaven close to Landry. I met her at the first retreat and she is expecting her 3rd precious baby girl in May. Beyond thrilled for her.

Jennifer, my precious room mate for the weekend. We talked and laughed  until very late every night. I  am missing her already, and wishing Washington State was not as far as it is. 

My airport and shopping, buddies.

The beautiful balloon release we held right before we left on Sunday. I will forever love and adore balloon releases. They hold a very special place in my heart. 

I am still in awe when I see the first picture on my blog, these are all the Hope Mommies that I had the privilege of meeting and sharing last weekend with. It is really hard to imagine how two years ago there were just 10 of us. Last weekend there were over 31 women, and honestly the first thought that comes to mind is sorrow, but hands down I am even more thankful for these women because together we can mourn, laugh, hope, and most importantly remember and honor our babies, and hold fast to the promise that God is faithful.
I am still overcome with so much emotion and I have had several days to process my experience. :) The theme of last weekend was Marked. I am Marked, because of Landry and his precious life. At the beginning of my journey I felt like a outsider and I often thought of myself as having a Scarlet letter that shown brightly for everyone to see, because I was different. I think I used to view that as negative, as not everyone always knows what to do our say to you, and that is OK. There was a question during one of our journal/small group times The "Before" You. What words would best describe the woman you were before your loss? Seriously, I sat there for the longest time trying to remember. I am still trying to figure that out.
Therefore, I am marked for eternity, but it is up to me how I want to live my life with this mark. Today I see a beautiful mark that held a precious miracle in my arms for 43 hours. I choose to find much HOPE and JOY being Marked. I choose to make a difference in the lives of others through Landry and his legacy.

 " He comforts us in all of our troubles so we can comfort others." I Corinthians 1:4

I am still overcome with gratefulness that I could attend such a beautiful weekend. It felt so nice to be able to just reflect on Landry. As you all know the world around keeps moving on around you but I still really miss Landry. It hit me Friday evening, during our praise and worship time we sang The Stand by Hillsong ( I still find music very therapeutic and healing). The Stand always brings so much emotion to the surface when I hear or sing this, for some reason on Friday that song hit me like a ton of breaks....  I realized how much that pain and heartache for Landry is still there.

I feel like I could go on for hours about last weekend. It was amazing and humbling. I am marked but I am pressing on to find hope.