Baby Steps

This Morning I had a appointment to get some Blood Work done at Scott and White. I have never been a huge fan of giving blood, but I will admit this time was too bad. I was sitting there as the women was trying to find a perfect vein in which to poke the needle and I thought how I should be used to blood work since it is my 3rd time around. I could not help but be thankful for that as the needle went in and the blood was drawn.
This Morning was my first precautionary work for our 3rd blessing. I should start by saying that I am not considered At Risk, due to the fact that everything with Landry happened a few hours after birth. When I first learned this I was a little apprehensive about that because I wanted to know that every proper step was being taken and I knew that my heart and nerves would need some extra reassurance this time around.
However, I have learned that just because I do not have that title on my chart does not mean that me and this baby will not be taken car of. I know this feeling is all possible because of our amazing Doctor, who continues to reassure me that we will take whatever steps necessary to make us feel more comfortable and at ease.
I guess it is ok for me to brag a little about our Doctor that delivered both my boys and several of my friends babies, but I received a text on my phone from him today stating that he was thinking of me and checking in to make sure that everything is going well and that he will see me at our BIG ultrasound on Friday, May 27th. He of course reassured me that the ultrasound was going to be great. I am so thankful for that text that put my heart at ease as I went in for my blood work this morning.
Mt last appointment with him was in April and we decided that we would wait until the ultrasound to come in again...a little over a month. Some days I get anxious and what to hear the heartbeat again just for my own peace of mind, but through prayers God continues to carry me through everyday and every anxious feeling. As fast as this month is going the 27th will be here before we know it and I know that we will will be surrounded by so many thoughts and prayers through our first big ultrasound and the big reveal. Everyone keeps asking what I want and my answer is a baby that I can take home from the hospital.
However, deep down in side I have a feeling it is another boy. Ryan is very confidant in the fact that it is a boy and he already calls him by his name. I love boys and we make beautiful boys, so why not do what we do best.
Some you may wonder why I don't write about this pregnancy, but please know that I love and pray for this beautiful being that God is knitting together in my womb as much as I prayed for Tyler and Landry. However, my heart is still guarded and I really have to take this new journey one day at a time, as I still have to take my grief and heartache over our beautiful, Landry James. However, daily I cling to the hope that I will be a Mom of 3 beautiful children.