Beauty

Sharing with Ghee and Poppy who their 3rd Grandchild is........... Guess who??? I really wanted to do a gender reveal cake, but I knew my parents would not be able to wait the time it would take to have one made, so we went with something a little quicker.

Yesterday Morning marked the appointment we have had on our calender since our first Doctor appointment with our third blessing. It is the big gender reveal appointment when all your plans, hopes, and dreams for your new life come in to play. The week leading up to our appointment was a very bittersweet week for us but I think our appointment landed on the perfect week and day, it felt like we were able to find joy amongst our heavy hearts and bittersweet days.

All week long I found my self praying for peace and acceptance at what ever God had in store for our family and I must say God always gives me the peace I need to make it through every day, and take away my anxious heart. We dropped Tyler off at School yesterday Morning and headed straight to Scott and White for our appointment. I got all checked in and the receptionist asked me if I knew where the ultrasound wing was, and my heart sunk because the last time we were in that wing was the day that we found out that Landry was going to be joining our family. I found it strange that I did not think of that before then but it never crossed my mind. As Ryan and I were about to enter in to that dreaded waiting room we both took a big deep breath at the same time, and tears filled my eyes as I thought back to the last time we were there. Ryan and I both remembered the room we were in, and thankfully that is not the room we were in this time. God really held us during our time in that waiting, because we did have to wait for a while... I think it is safe to say that Scott and White will always hold bittersweet Memories for me.

Finally the time came and I found myself on the table waiting to get Gel on my belly. I am so thankful that our Doctor was able to do our ultrasound this time around and it was just him in the room with us. Before Doctor Fothergill put the Doppler on me, he asked us what we thought we were having, and we both said a boy. He asked us why we thought that, and Ryan said "Because God loves me too much to give me a girl." Ryan has been determined all a long that we will only have boys. Dr. Fothergill said when he got to the gender spot, "Well, it looks like God has Sense of Humour." I knew when he said that and from seeing it with my own eyes (boys are a little more obvious to spot than a girl is). My eyes immediately filled with tears and I kept saying "Oh My Gosh" over and over again, because deep down I thought I would be the Mom to all boys. Just in case you are still wondering what we are having.... It's A GIRL! I guess the most important part of the ultrasound is our precious Girl looks good, and in regards to anatomy everything looks healthy. We spent a lot of time looking at her brain, but it is too soon to see anything too big so we will be going back at 28 weeks for another Ultrasound.

You know deep down I feel relieved that we are having a little girl, because I was very anxious about having another little boy. I dreaded the thought of taking all of that little boy stuff out again, a lot of it was Ty's but it was washed and folded in hopes of Landry and of course Landry had a lot of stuff, like a room that was meant just for him. I am not sure how I could of put another boy nursery together. I know I could have done it, but it just hurt too much thinking about it. I feel a girl is a new start for us, and I think that is what we need during this Season of our life.

Walking out of that Ultrasound room and entering that dreaded waiting room again, that will always hold bittersweet Memories for us, I was reminded that God always turns our Ashes in to absolute BEAUTY! Once again God reminded yesterday just how blessed we are and that he is still carrying us, and that amongst all of our pain this year He is allowing our eyes and hearts to see His absolute Beauty and Amazing Grace in our life.