Sunday

The day after Landry was born should have been a day filled with getting to know our littlest more and a room filled with visitors welcoming Landry and wanting to get a glimpse of his beautiful face. However, our day was filled with tears and waiting for the Lord to take him to his Eternal Home. It reminded of a waiting game... we knew he was going die but we did not know how long he would live.
I was numb and still in complete shock of everything that was taking place that morning. Both sets of Grandparents were there and Ryan's sisters were coming in town to meet and say good bye to their Nephew. Ryan called our Church, Supper Club, and close friends. Ryan was my strength and support during this whole event and he still is. I am amazed that my husband whom was falling apart inside was so strong for us. I thought it was strange that on Saturday we called everyone to tell them that Landry James was here and prefect and not even 24 hours we are calling to tell everyone that something happened and Landry does not have much longer here on earth. What a mixture of raw emotions....
Our Pastor and his wife and along with some of our close friends and my Parents close friends came up to the Hospital during that Sunday to pray over Landry and our family and just to sit and be a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, and a chance to hold a beautiful Angel in their arms. Landry was always in someones arms the whole time he was with us. I know that he felt love from so many different people.
Every hour that passed that Sunday was a blessing to us. We had several scares that day when he would stop breathing but Ryan and I always knew how to get him breathing again. We would sigh a sign of relieve when we heard his big grasp for air. What a fighter we had. I loved the sounds he made while he was breathing. It truly was the most beautiful sound in the world. Since Landry was holding on longer than the Doctors expected they put him on a feeding tube so he would not starve. He only opened up his eyes for a little bit on Sunday but the majority of our time with him his eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful. Oh, how I wish I would of stared in to those eyes longer when he was first born. I thought I would have a lifetime to stare in to those dark brown eyes.
I finally broke down in tears when I saw my best friends standing in the hallway coming to meet and say their good byes to Landry. They were the ones that listened to my hopes and dreams and hosted Landry the most beautiful shower.
Tyler. My sweet little boy did really well with all that was going on. My heart immediately broke when I saw him because I know what it is like to loose a Brother, too. I was a lot older than Ty when my Brother died but still I felt a very special connection to my biggest. Ty was in and out of the Hospital a lot, and I know he did understand everything that was going on... and he still doesn't, which I am so thankful about. I just did not want Tyler to be hurting. We have some of the most amazing friends that would take Ty with them to their house, and my biggest also had his first slumber party with two of his friends so we could all stay at the Hospital on Sunday. I thought and worried about Tyler so much when he was away and even when he was at the hospital with us. I was aching for Landry but we also had another little boy that needed us and that was what was the hardest for me.
Our little fighter held on all day on Sunday, so we were anxious to see what Monday held. All of this pain is still so real to me but I am so thankful I am sharing it. Please share our story and our blog with anyone..... I guess the true testimony of our faith is that we are still standing and going through the days the best way we know how...... Landry's Heaven day will be next but I have to take my time as it is still so emotional for me to write this.