We decided that tonight would be the night to start wrapping gifts. I have really done ok with running around buying gifts... well it did take me a while to get motivated. It was not the full excitment as in years past but I was ok. When people asked me what I wanted I really could not answer them because stuff and gifts for me did not matter. I really don't care this year what I get..... I am just being honest. I did ask for items for the NICU where Landry was. I will share more later...
Now that I think about it I must have been oblivious to the fact that these gifts we are going to wrap are for Christmas... maybe I was numb or in denial. However, I really enjoyed finding special surprises for Tyler this year because I feel like he deserves a lot of surprises and to have a wonderful Christmas. I know that may be selfish of me but he lost a brother this year and I want him to be filled with love and get everything he asked for.
Pulling out the paper and our huge plastic bin of bags and bows I was over come with heartache and sadness. I dropped and sat on the floor crying for a while. I was doing ok until tonight. I guess it hit me that there will be no gifts for Landry under our tree and we will not be able to hang the stalking we already had for our littlest. I will not have pictures of our two boys in their matching PJ's. It all hurts so much right now and I am still crying as I type this..... It was bound to hit me at sometime, I guess.
I still remember last Christmas when Tyler put on his Big Brother shirt and told our families all about a new blessing...... Landry.
Park City Utah
2 years ago
7 comments:
Listen, i love and miss Landry too, but there is no way he and Ty would have had matching PJs.
Hang that stocking girl!!! It maybe empty and he may not be here on Earth but he is and always will be in the hearts of so many people! Love you and praying for you always but this week especially!!!
PS. I know no matter what Ryan says you would have gotten them in matching pj's!!!! ;)
We wrapped presents last night, too. It was hard, but I've been in a funk all week so I expected it. I'm with you on spoiling our living kids this year - I keep getting more for Sierra. I don't really care. I say hang the stocking! I am trying to find the perfect one for Adelyn. I don't care, she's going to have a stocking with an angel stocking hanger. I agree - they would have had matching PJs. I miss that too - my girls HAD matching dresses already bought but only 1 of them got to wear them :(
My heart is broken for you Holly. I agree with Heather though, hang the stocking! Do something special to honor and remember Landry. I want to light a candle for Noah during present time. Landry is with you, just not in his flesh. I love you precious girl. I think of you daily and can't wait to hug your neck in February!
Praying for your heart sweet friend. I agree- hang Landry's stocking and fill it with memories, notes to Landry, special Bible verses- something that you all can share as a family. hugs!
Just read this. So sorry you had such hurt last night. I know Christmas isn't what it was supposed to be. I love you so much and pray for your heart through this thick sadness.
Holly, please remind Ryan that he had matching pj's with his 3 older sisters...he just lucky his were pj's not gowns like they had!
Post a Comment