Memories

Have you ever looked through your closest, and come across certain shirts, dresses, ect...... and certain memories have come to your mind, because you wore it for a particular occasion. I have several outfits like that, but they have never brought me to tears as when I put on one of my Maternity tops that I wore last Summer when I was pregnant with Landry. So many memories came flooding back but the one thought that stuck with me, was the last time I wore that shirt Landry was alive. I immediately took it off and put it away.... I just don't think I can wear those tops that I lived in when I was pregnant with Landry ever again. I was amazed at how fresh that pain was and how it stung so badly.
I was thankful my Mom got me a new swim suit this year, because she knew that I would not be able to put back on the suit I wore all last Summer, and seeing it in my draw always makes my heart drop.
I remember the first morning we were home after leaving the hospital with out Landry, and I was in our closet getting dressed and I immediately reached for some non maternity pants, and of course they would not button so the tears just started to flow. I think it is strange how I wanted to badly not to wear maternity.... I guess if I was not in maternity clothes I would not be reminded of all of those painful memories that were still so fresh.
Our closest has seen a lot of my tears this year, but no matter how much my heart hurts when I see all of the maternity clothes that I wore with Landry I can't help but to remind myself to be thankful for those clothes and memories because if it were not for them there would be no Tyler or Landry. I am also thankful for this new bump and miracle inside of me and I know that someday certain outfits I have will always remind me of our first daughter.

Progress

At the beginning of swim season I wondered if I would ever get Ty out of the baby pool and in to the big pool. Ty has faced a lot of fears these past couple of weeks, and we officially have a little fish on our hands.
Today was Tyler's last day of swim lessons, and I have really been blown away by him improvement and confidence over these 2 weeks of lessons. This week has really been a big week for him, and the best part is he will practice what he does at lessons with me. I have taken him to the pool twice this week, and he finally wear a floaty. That is a huge step if you ask me.... I bought him the floaty that he has on the pictures last year because that is what he would wear in lessons, but he throw the biggest when I tried to get him to put it on. However, something clicked and he put it on for me on Tuesday afternoon at the the pool, and again today.
I am thankful we were able to sit inside today and watch, because Tyler's class swam the whole length of the pool, and UMHB has a big pool. I was in complete awe and amazement of our biggest. I tried to get some action shots, but I was just so proud of Tyler that I had a hard time taking my eyes off of him to click and shoot the camera. Tyler also showed off all of his jumping in to water skills. Ty has always loved jumping in to the water, but now he will jump in and immediately start kicking and swimming.
Sure we have some more to learn when it comes to swimming, but I am so thankful for all of the strides that Tyler has made these past two weeks, and I hope that his confidence will continue to grow by leaps and bounds during the rest of the summer.
We are so proud of you, Tyler and I can't wait to spend the rest of our summer swimming together.

Future Baseball Player

Round two of our Texas Ranger Baseball Weekend started with tail gating before the big afternoon Game. Ryan's parents joined us on Saturday afternoon for the game, so Tyler had both sets of his Grandparent's around. What a lucky boy.
Saturday's game was still fun, but very hot and Ty wanted to play all the fun baseball games this time around, which we did twice. I am sure I am a little bias, but Ty is one good baseball player. I am sure it is all the practicing we do in our front and backyard almost everyday.
The only bad part about Saturday is the Rangers lost. We really enjoyed our fun baseball weekend. And when ever you ask Ty what he wants to be when he grows up... as of Monday it is a Baseball Player.

Fireworks

Friday night at Ranger Stadium, they hosted Firework Friday. Family members only were allowed on the field for this wonderful treat. Tyler loves Fireworks.... well, last year was the first time he saw them, but he was a fan then, and a even bigger fan this time around. The music and the amazing fireworks were spectacular. I truly think we picked the best game to attend because, the special perk of being related to a Texas Ranger did not just end with a tour of the field, dug out, and fireworks......
Our evening ended with a tour of the locker room (Boy's Only Allowed) and meeting some very famous baseball players. The only only name that comes to mind that Tyler, Ryan, and my Dad met is Josh Hamilton. I know there were others, but I did not know a lot of the players. I guess I should also mention that Nolan Ryan sat next to us during the Firework show. There were Baseball celebrities everywhere we looked.
Friday truly was amazing and we are so thankful to my family for putting this together. However, I kept telling my Aunt and Uncle that we may have ruined Ty, because I don't think we will ever be able to go to game with out all the perks ever again. However, I am kind of ok with that, too!
Family pictures, with our star of the evening... Josh Frasier. So blessed and thankful for my amazing family. It felt so wonderful to be with them all weekend.At first the only thing Tyler could do was stare at Josh when he met us on the field. I think Tyler was in awe of seeing a real baseball player.

Our memories did not just end on Friday night. Stay tuned for our Saturday afternoon game. The one thing I can say about that game was that it was VERY hot.

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

On Friday evening one of Tyler's dreams came true. We headed to Arlington for a Texas Ranger Baseball game, which turned in to a Baseball weekend for our family. My Cousin, Josh Frasier is the Bull Pen Catcher for the Rangers, and treated us to a weekend of Baseball. I will just say that we received the absolute royal treatment, and I felt like a celebrity. My Aunt and Uncle, and another Cousin joined us, along with my parents and it was truly an amazing weekend filled with so many special memories.
Mike, Mary Grace, and Josh made sure that Tyler had the experience of a lifetime, and boy did he ever. Ty was very spoiled, but then again I think we all were. Tyler's whole face lit up from the moment we got to the stadium until the night came to a end.
We got special parking and entered the door where all the players enter when they arrive (underground). We sat where all the team members family sits, and were able to eat at a restaurant overlooking the stadium on Friday night. I will be the first to admit that I am not a huge baseball fan, but when you get VIP treatment it is hard not to become a fan!
We took so many pictures that I am going to split my posts up, so I do not have a complete picture overload.
Ready for some baseball.

My Cousin, Josh. We are so proud of him.

Dirk Nowitzki, from the Dallas Mavericks threw out the first pitch.

More pictures, of Josh. Ty got to stand close to the railing and wave, and watch Josh warm up. Ty loved that.My Uncle, took Ty and I shopping once we got to the Ball Park and loaded us up with Ranger gear. Check out this Cutie in the Team's Jersey. We love Team Frasier

There was everything you could dream of at the Stadium, even a kids baseball area. We walked around it on Friday night, but we were too late to play games, so we came and hit it hard on Saturday afternoon for our 2nd game.

You can't go to a baseball game and not eat Cotton Candy. What better way to watch the Rangers Win!

After the game, Tyler was in complete awe when we were able to go out on the field. Ty was in his element. A dug out and bases, and a extra special treat that is coming in the next post..... what more could our baseball lover little boy want.

Above the entrance of the dug out, they have a horseshoe symbol. I loved that.

Walking down to enter on to the Field. My Mom is behind me, and Mike and Mary Grace are next to Ryan. My Dad took the picture. The next two pictures our my Boy's in the Dug Out.

Tyler checked it all out. He did comment on the mess they made. :)

Pointing to the starting line up.Making a call.

These are just some of our memories from Friday night. Stay tuned for more pictures of our amazing Texas Ranger Weekend.

Cars

Friday was a big day in our house (at least for a certain 31/2 year old in our home). It was opening day of Cars 2. All week, or should I say for months Ty has been talking about about the movie, and so when Friday came Ty was filled with so much excited. We got on our cars shirt and underwear, and loaded up. Thankfully, Ryan went and bought our tickets the evening before, so we did not have to stand in line for tickets, we just had to stand in line for the gate to open. We picked the first showing of the day, but we got right in and headed straight for the concession stand. Ty's Cousins got to join in on all the movie and popcorn fun, too. The movie was cute....maybe not as good as the first, but it will be a day that Tyler will remember for a long time.

Friday night and our weekend were also fun and memory packed. I will share more about our Friday night and Saturday in other posts, but since we were gone all weekend and had a whirlwind Sunday I am going to go relax. I will leave you with a teaser.... think Peanuts and Cracker Jacks.

11 Balloons

Today marks Landry's, 11 months in Glory. In keeping up with our monthly tradition of releasing balloons to Landry in Heaven, Tyler sent up 11 balloons to his Brother this afternoon. I must say that this has been of of my favorite times during these past 11 months, and it has been a wonderful way to include Tyler, and for that I am thankful, and seeing Tyler's face light up and hearing his sweet prayer of Thanksgiving for Landry every month makes my heart melt. My Parent's joined us this afternoon as well, and so that even more sweet (Please excuse the smudge mark on our lens. Are camera got a lot of use this weekend, but I will save that all for other posts).

Once again it is hard to believe how close we are getting to the One Year marker. I am really not sure how I feel about it all, or maybe I can't explain how I am feeling.

Today while checking out at Card Party, the check out line I chose had a huge 1st Birthday display with plates, banners.... ect. and it was all in blue. It felt like someone took a knife and stabbed my heart. I was in line buying blue balloons to send to our little boy in Heaven, when what I should be doing and what I long to be doing is buying Landry all the 1st Birthday Party stuff he deserves.

I know deep down that Landry's Birthday and Gloryday celebration in Heaven are going to be greater than any Birthday celebration I could put together for Landry. However, sometimes it takes a while for my heart and tears to accept that. We love you, Landry. We miss you so much today and always. We are so thankful for the time we did have you, and we are thankful for the past 11 months and what you have brought to our lives. You amaze me.

11 Months

It has been 11 months since I first got a glimpse of this beautiful face. At the moment when I first held you I did not know that I would only 43 hours with you. I am missing everything about this face today. I am still in awe of our Landry, and the fighter that he was. Landry has shaped me in to the person I am today, and he has changed the lives of so many individuals, and for that I am blessed and grateful to be called Landry's Mommy.
July will be here before we know it, and I have found myself weepy when I think about. There are many nights that I find myself in tears about what our July should hold, and how incredibly different it will be. As I have learned through out this journey, God is going to carry us through July just like He has done these past 11 months. We are never alone and that gives me hope.
I will love you always and forever, Landry James Steele. You will always be our littlest.

Whew

We have had two of Ty's cousins staying with us since Tuesday, and we have hit the Water Park, two Splash Pads, Parks, a Swimming Pool, and the Driving Range. I am worn out, and we still have other things planned before we take them home tomorrow. I guess I should mention Swim Lessons in that list, too. I finally remembered my camera this afternoon, and this is the best shot I got.

Well, I am off to take a nap.... I wish.

Tee Time

If you ask Tyler what his favorite thing to do with his Daddy is, his response is go to the Driving Range and play golf. So for Father's Day Ty got Ryan a gift certificate to the driving range. They have already gone twice since Sunday. I think it is safe to say that Ty loves anything sport that has a ball of some sort in it. Ty adores anything that will allow him to spend time with his Daddy, those two have such a special bond these days, and I thank God for that daily.

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