Left Out

One of Ryan's Sister's came in to town this weekend with her two kids and Ty has been having a great time with his cousins. I will admit having them here for two nights is really a great distraction for us and for that I am thankful.
However, tonight I feel left out and longing for my Brother and Landry. Ryan and his Sister are outside sharing childhood memories and I was sitting there listening to them and then it hit me that I will never have the opportunity to share all my childhood memories with my Brother, Justin. Justin has been gone for 20 years and I still miss him like crazy and wish that I had that Brother and Sister relationship back.
Therefore, I came in side because I was starting to long for Landry, too. If he was here I would be too busy checking on him or sleeping...... I know at times when I feel like this I should think of all the joy I have but I just can't do it right now. To be honest I feel really mad right now!!! Why did my Brother and Son have to be taken from me? I just don't understand and tonight I am left here with so many questions.