So I have developed certain fears ever since we lost Landry. We took our nephew Caleb home this afternoon and all day I thought about calling to see if he could stay longer because I did not feel like I was ready to be alone and just the 3 of us again. I kept wondering if we were going to be ok but I know that we are going to be ok, because it has just been the three of us for a while. Some days I am just scared to be alone because I never know what the day is going to bring and how I am going to be physically and mentally.
I have also started staying up later at night because I have a fear of falling asleep and knowing that when I wake up it is just another day with out Landry. It is also a fear of what the day will hold for us and how will I handle everything. Sometimes I wake up in the middle longing to be awake taking care of my littlest. I long to be be tired because I was up all night with a newborn. I want that feeling again so bad that it hurts.
4 comments:
Holly- I love how you are so honest. I am praying for you so often. Please know that I would LOVE to get together sometime when you have time. I get tears in my eyes each time I see your precious Landry. His pictures are so perfect. What a blessing that you have them.
Thank you Jen for always leaving me a not! I appreciate you more than you will ever know.
I would LOVE to get together. Monday and Friday Mornings are open. Thank you for being a blessing.
Holly, I don't know if you remember me or not, but we were in Gypsy at TCT together. That should bring you a giggle! :) I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you here in Houston along with the ladies in my bible study class. Thank you for sharing your story. May God bless you beyond all measure!
~Stephanie (Giesbers) Cook
I'm glad, Holly. I "check" on you and pray throughout the day by going to your blog. I'll email you about getting together :)
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