3 Blessings

At the end of any painful storm you have to have faith and hope that a Rainbow will always appear. Gods faithfulness has continued to shine down us and we did receive our rainbow at the end of our storm. The Steele Family is expecting our THIRD blessing on October 26, 2011. I am amazed, thrilled, and scared all the same time. Honestly, I have been consumed with worry and even guilt at times during the past couple of months. When I first saw the two the lines on that little stick my heart dropped and I immediately started crying because it felt as if I were replacing Landry. I could never replace Landry, he is and will always be my second blessing. I have worried that something is going to happen to this baby, I have worried that people might think I am over Landry. My heart still aches for Landry and I will never get over his death, I am getting through it but I will never get over it. I am always worried how Tyler will handle and understand all of this. Worry has become a consuming factor of my day, and I know that all my worry and fears should be given over to the Lord... some days it is hard to let go, I guess.. Daily I am reminded of Gods amazing Grace in our life and we are going to follow him during this new story he is writing for our life. This blessing was a surprise and I love that because it's truly Gods timing at work and that is what we having been praying for since Landry went to Heaven, plus I am not getting any younger and I am very close to the age where risk factors can come in to play. Our Doctor has been amazing and very reassuring every time I see him. I love that I was able to talk to him on the phone the day I found out about number 3, and that all my appointments will only be with him. I love the fact that our Doctor has delivered both of my boys and he knows our story. Truly blessed! We still have a long road to walk but we faith, courage, and hope that God is going to bless this road we are walking on every step of the way even if some days it feels like we our lagging behind and trying to keep up. This pregnancy is very different because of my past and the only way I can make it is taking it one day at a time. I know for a fact I was already picking paint colors and planning my future with our other 2, but my heart wont let me do that this time around. My heart is a little guarded this time around but I believe that Hope is my Calling and the peace that can only come from our Heavenly Father shines through me a little brighter day by day. Romans 12:12 Be Joyful in Hope, Patient in affliction, Faithful in Prayer.