Distant

Part of has me has felt very distant from life and some amazing relationships lately, sometimes I think I let my grief get the best of me and I become overwhelmed by everything, and that makes me feel detached from relationships and routines. Last week my heart was so hard and bitter and I did not know how to get myself out of it. Sometimes grief brings out a very ugly part in me; where I feel very envious of others and how perfect their life is, and I know this is Satan trying to enter in and ruin me. I am so thankful for the times that I can recognize that Satan is trying to come in and take control of my life and feelings. I kept praying That God would heal my heart and take control of my life again, but then he never was not in control because he does not leave and then come back when I am feeling better. Boy, am I thankful God that is always constant. This week I have been reminded several times by my close friends who were there at the very beginning of our tragedy that they are still thinking about us, praying for us and love is. It has come in the way of a card, CD, and emails. Thank you all for still loving me even though I know I have changed and my not be the friend that you met for the first time, but I am still me. I know it has almost been 9 months but the reminders are priceless and held close. Psalm 116:1-2 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned His ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.