Saturday, February 12, 2011

T-Shirts

I have some favorite t-shirts that always make me me feel so good when I put them on. Mine are my JL shirts, Holden Uganda shirt, and now my Hope Mommies shirt.... I am sure you all have one, or maybe more....
Yesterday Morning I put on my Hope Mommies, shirt because I was going to hit the gym for some Body Pump. I walked in and got my bar and weights all ready and found a place on the floor. My group of work out buddies were not there and I did not know anyone which was ok, but then the floor starts filling up with other Body Pumpers, and all of the sudden I notice that there are two pregnant women beside and my heart drops and I feel a sudden ache.
Please do not misunderstand me but I ache when I see a baby bump because it was not long ago that had one, and I ache to have another one.... but it really hurts, and they are everywhere these days and I have several close friends that are pregnant. I am happy for them but there is a pain inside me that always surfaces when I see them. I have to remove myself when they start talking about how crazy their life is about to get and how they are in the nesting stages, because I have learned through Landry that tears are always close to the surface.
A few women would come up and asked them when they are due, and that they look really good. I got a few looks from women that I knew were on the row behind me when I left and they all looked at me with a painful smile. I got in my car and the tears started rolling down my face because all I had to show off was a T-shirt.... I long to show off Landry sometimes.
Today I was reminded that I am so thankful for my Hope Mommies shirt because that shirt has brought some of the most people in to my life, some I do not know yet but I will have the honor of meeting them very soon. The shirt is also a reminder of the greatest Mom's around that I am so thankful for.... I love that I can call them my friends and I love that Landry is surrounded by their beautiful children that he calls, his friends. God's love is so ABUNDANT.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Holly, your last two posts have had me sitting here nodding me head, saying "yeah" to myself because I can so relate right now. People have been giving me a hard time about having difficulty being around pregnant women and wanting to avoid them - I wish they could understand.